A Simple Vision, Focus and Target for Improving Your Life :

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4.1 Impact as a Husband

4.2 Impact as a Father

4.3 Impact as a Leader of Men

5 Build Your Own Vision, Foundational Focus and Targeted Impact

6 Resources to Support Your Improvement as a Man

What I have discovered is that often the most significant challenge we have in improving our lives is the challenge we see in the mirror. Many of the problems we experience as men are influenced by or originate with us. Too often, our complaints about the behaviors of wives, children, coworkers, and employees are a direct reflection of how we are living our lives. Many times we are blinded to the tremendous impact we have on these relationships. As a result, the finger continues to be pointed “out there.” We say, “The reason my life is not as good as it should be is because of … this person, that situation, my circumstances, etc.”

As a man living the life he is called to live, you and I have significant influence over the world around us. Often this influence is far more significant than we realize. Our actions produce ripples that impact lives. Like the rock thrown into the pool, the people closest to us are those that will experience the highest wave of our influence. As husbands, fathers, and leaders in the workplace, we have tremendous power that can make a difference in other people’s lives. Whether we acknowledge it or not, we are influencing lives. The question is, how well are we influencing those lives?

When we realize this, we also recognize that any effort to improve our situation in life has to start with improving us. Is it possible that our influence could be a significant contributor to many of the problems we battle in our lives? When we become better men with a strong vision, building a strong foundation, and being purposeful in our impact on those around us, we will be amazed at how our lives change for the better. I have experienced this, and I have observed the same in the lives of other men.

So when we look in the mirror, do we see the type of man that inspires others to go in the right direction? When we evaluate our actions, decisions, and accomplishments, are we on a path worth following? What kind of legacy are we producing? If these questions reveal opportunities in our lives, then it is time to close the gaps and level up as a man. It is time to get on the right path and improve. It is time to start moving in a different direction.

How do we get started improving ourselves, so we are influencing others in the right direction? I have found that rather than create a bunch of rules to follow, it is more effective to establish some guidelines for the life you want to live and the influence you want to have. The rest of this article will lay out an example from my own experience of a simple framework I have used to ensure I am continuously moving in the direction I want to go and, in turn, the direction I want to influence those around me.

This framework consists of three elements that I will call a Guiding Vision, a Foundational Focus, and a Targeted Impact. The Guiding Vision is the big picture, the Foundational Focus is the routine that supports the big picture, and the Targeted Impact is the relationships I want to be purposeful about influencing. Let’s take a closer look at each of these.

Guiding Vision

Think about your goals as a man. What are you striving for in life? For me, I want to honor God, be true to the man in the mirror, and be a rock to those around me. This vision gives me purpose and direction in life. It is the compass that keeps me on track. I continually have this short sentence in my mind. It drives me. It also helps me to course-correct at times.

As I am working through the day, I have the following questions rolling around in my head. Is this honoring God and what I know He reveals in His Word, the Bible? Am I faithful to who I am, or am I being influenced to be someone I am not? Am I providing strong leadership and being a stabilizing force for those around me?

This vision directs me. To me, this is far greater than a set of rules to follow. I have a clear picture of what I am striving to accomplish. It gives me purpose and guides me to live according to my convictions. It keeps me on the path.

What is your purpose in life? How do you want to live? What does this look like? Can you simplify this idea into a few easy to remember phrases that you carry in your mind every day? Having this established in your life keeps you on a path and heading in a direction. It becomes your compass that leads to a specific destination rather than just wondering aimlessly through life being pushed around by the storms of life. Too many men are just living the grind with no sense of purpose. Don’t be one of those men.

Think about your vision. Write it down and refine it. Then, start living it!

Foundational Focus

So when I think about fulfilling the vision of honoring God, being true to the man in the mirror, and being a rock for those around me, I realize that to do this well, I need to be a strong man. I cannot work toward that vision if I am not striving to be stronger every day. In my mind, if I want to move forward in this vision, then I need to develop ways to improve in three main areas. I must be strong physically, mentally, and spiritually. I need to optimize myself in these three areas so I can perform at my highest level and continue on the path to my vision.

Because of this, I have built a routine to grow in these areas. Every day I take steps to improve and get stronger than I was the day before. Physically I maintain a good diet, get routine exercise, and get good sleep. Spiritually, I pray, read, and study the Bible and learn how to relate to God in a way that honors him. Mentally, I listen to podcasts, read articles and books, and engage with other men to learn in areas that will help me in carrying out my vision. I live a life of continuous learning.

Daily I am strengthening my body, mind, and soul. As I do, it provides me a solid foundation to successfully carry out my vision. For example, I need to be dialed in physically to have the energy to be on my game at work and home. I need to be dialed in mentally to make the right decisions, give good direction, and to lead well to those dependent upon my leadership. I need to be in tune with God’s desires and understand his ways if I am going to act in ways that honor him.

These things will not happen if I do not build a routine to keep improving in these three areas. And so for me, I have approached building this foundation this way. I looked at my schedule and determined a time when I can get certain routine activities completed consistently and without disruption.

My routine starts at 4:30 am every day. Every morning I wake up, listen to bible reading (Bible in a year), workout (I do a HIIT type workout every morning), pray, write for my blog, and then I listen to a book or podcast on my drive to and from work. In addition to this, I lift weights four times a week in the evenings with my son. I also adhere to a strict diet, counting calories and macros for six days a week, and on one day, I will step outside the diet to indulge in a treat or two.

This is my routine, and it ensures I am growing physically, mentally, and spiritually every day. I do other things in these areas throughout the week, but this is my foundational routine. This is the non-negotiable part of my routine, and I do it at a time when the likelihood of being disrupted is very low. It works for me and has for quite some time now.

The challenge for you is to build a routine that works for you. Build a routine that supports your vision. Build a routine that has a schedule with a high probability of success. Also, know that it will likely require some sacrifice on your part. You will probably have to give up something to build an effective routine. I started getting up at 4:30 am, and for a couple of weeks, felt like a zombie. But after establishing this routine and figuring out my sleeping schedule, I now am in the best physical condition I have ever been, and I feel better than I have for a long time. I love my morning routine and work hard to maintain it. I have come to realize that without this routine, I will not be strong enough to follow my vision with any real success. Build yours and start getting results.

Want some good insight into how fitness ties into so many other areas of life?

Read “The Fuel Behind a Passionate Fire For Fitness.”

Targeted Impact

Three Main Roles

As men, we are called to be leaders. Building a Guiding Vision and establishing a strong Foundation makes us high-value men and leaders worth following. But who do you want to influence the most? What lives are most important to you as you zero in your influence? This is what I mean by “Targeted Impact.” It is about being purposeful in the roles and relationships that mean the most to you.

For me, I have three roles as a man that I want to optimize and target: my role as a husband, a father, and as a leader of men. As I live, I am continually challenging myself to maintain these three as the focus of my life. It does not mean I don’t value relationships outside these, but just that I want to keep these roles as my top priority. I will fight to ensure the craziness of the world does not squeeze them out. These three roles are where I want to focus my time learning, growing, and improving through action.

Impact as a Husband

I desire to be a rock to those around me. That is first and foremost as a husband. I need to continually learn and dial in my role as a husband to be the strongest leader I can be. I am the one to uphold the standard in my home, set the direction, and lead from the front. I set the tone through my attitude, my approach to life, and my example.

The resource that has had the greatest impact on my life in growing as a husband has been the men I associate with through the Fraternity of Excellence. This group has helped me grow as a husband more than any other resource in my life. They are a group of brothers that hold me accountable for doing the things that will enable me to grow and be a stronger leader in my home. I am grateful for them. They are great resources and have helped me tremendously. For your benefit, I have included several blogs from these men at the bottom of this article. You will notice that many of them offer additional resources that you can take advantage of to grow even more and increase your impact and strengthen your relationship with your wife or LTR.

Impact as a Father

The second area and role I target to strengthen and grow is my role as a father. I think a lot about the legacy I am building for my son. It is important to me to build this relationship and prepare him to enter manhood so he can positively impact this world. I am learning key principles about engaging with him and being present in his life. I am continually pushing myself to improve in this role and develop this relationship in the few years I have with him.

Again, having a tribe of brothers that are also fathers and working to become better fathers has been a tremendous benefit. Many of the blogs below have articles and resources related to improving and becoming a better father. I want to draw attention to a brother of mine that has been especially helpful to me on a personal level. His blog is called Peaceful Fathers. You will find great articles full of ideas on how to sharpen your skills as a father and build a relationship that influences your children. Build that legacy!

Impact as a Leader of Men

Lastly, I target my influence outside my home and specifically in leading and influencing men. This includes my friendships, work relationships, church relationships, and community relationships. Wherever I can have influence and lead other men to improve their lives, that’s where I want to place my emphasis. Men of Grit has been developed for this reason. It is intended to influence and positively impact the lives of men. I have included a few resources below that have helped me in this area also. I have also included a number of books in audiobook and hardcover on my Book Recommendations page. Click Here to view.

Build Your Own Vision, Foundational Focus and Targeted Impact

What about your vision, foundational focus, and targeted impact? Though it would be fine to follow the path I am on, I think each man needs to figure out his own path. You need to design a path that works for you. For me, I continue to learn and tweak my path as I go. As part of my vision, focus, and the impact I listen and learn from other men. I don’t know that I fully embrace everything a single man shares, but I learn something from everyone. I continually find nuggets that help me. Sometimes, aspects of what works for me will not work for someone else. Some of the men I listen to and learn from are highly successful in life and doing exceptionally well. But following their path precisely in my life just would not work.

But I often apply aspects of what they are doing and just modify it to what I know will work for me. My norm is to just do it and then adjust and modify to make it work in my life. My advice would be, do not think about it too long. Just get started building your vision, foundation, target and start moving forward! The key is to keep trying things that align with your vision and foundational focus and targeted impact until you find the right combination that starts delivering the results you desire. Keep moving, keep improving, and watch your influence and impact grow!