To me, there are few things worse than living with the perception of winning on the outside while at the same time knowing you are losing on the inside. I have been there. I lived a life that was slowly eroding while the outside world thought I was winning. But to the man in the mirror, I knew I was a fake. I was not authentic. I knew I was not living to my full potential. I was only living a fraction of the life I could live. I chased comfort and became complacent. Discipline was far from me. I did not like the man I had become.
The change started with a bad blood test in April of 2019. In May 2019, I attended the Echelon Front Muster event in Chicago with Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. In doing the morning PT, I realized what I needed to do. It was time to turn things around, beginning with my physical health. I began to work out and started to change my eating habits. Several months later, I joined the Fraternity of Excellence, a group of men striving to be high-value men in all areas of life. This was like fuel on the fire for me. The help I received gave me insight into what I needed to do to become a better man. I got on the path to being a better man and have been on that path ever since.
I have since transformed myself physically, mentally, and spiritually. I am not where I want to be, but I am in a much better place than I was. I am on a trajectory of improving every day. My daily question is, “What am I doing today to be a little better than the man in the mirror yesterday?”
On my journey, I have discovered that the men who develop daily discipline are men who win. I wish I could give other men a pill or a shot in the arm so they could automatically be disciplined. I wish I had the silver bullet. I am still trying to figure that out. So I stay focused on leading by example and sharing my experiences. This blog is about sharing what I learn on my journey to spur other men on to a better life.
Here are three things that have helped me develop the daily discipline to become a stronger man physically, mentally, and spiritually.
The Power of Pain
I have experienced the results of a life chasing comfort. It produced a complacency in me that was slowly eroding my strength as a man. I was becoming undisciplined, became susceptible to addictive behaviors, and was living a life of weakness. My relationship with my wife was far from where it needed to be. My example to my son was not where I knew it should be. I was not the man I needed to be, and I knew it. To me, it was painful to live that way. I knew I could be a better man. I knew I was a stronger man, but I was not doing the things to draw that man out.
I was not a man worthy of respect. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I could see it in my own eyes. I did not respect myself, and it showed in the way I was living. I do not ever want to forget that pain. I keep the memory alive because I have found power in it. That pain drives me when others give up or do not stay the course. I do not ever want to go back to those days. Many times I do not feel like doing the work required to be a better, stronger man. But all I have to do is remember how messed up things were before. How I felt about myself back then drives me to do the work to maximize myself today. Those days were dark. It is painful when you do not like yourself. I am grateful for where I am today. The pain of yesterday moves me today.
The Power of Peers
As Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17
Those you surround yourself with matters. Those you listen to matters. Take the time to sit down and think about those you spend time with and listen to. What is their life like? How does this compare to the life you would like to have? What is their trajectory? Where are they going? Are they going there at the rate you would like to go?
For me, I needed to be around men that were seriously driven. I knew that the required changes in my life could not be addressed with a half-hearted weak effort. I needed to be all in. That is the only way I have ever made a change in my life. But, unfortunately, I knew all too well the results of half-hearted efforts.
This was difficult because I saw many men who were satisfied with the status quo when I looked around. They were either satisfied or not willing to do the work. Most were going with the flow of society. They were not on a path to become strong men. I needed to associate myself with those that were setting themselves apart. I needed to associate with men that were not satisfied but always striving to be better.
Being associated with high-value men, I noticed something. When you choose to associate with these men, you really need to commit to going all in. Men that are serious and driven about going to higher places do not wait around for those that are not serious. They expect action and movement. You cannot be dead weight when you join forces with stronger men. You need to commit to moving from bad to better to best. If you do not, they will not hang with you. You need to add to the momentum, not hold it back.
Associate with high-value men and do not become the dead weight.
Read More:
Tremendous Advantages of Connecting with High-Value Brothers
Making the Most Gains from the Fellowship with Strong Men
The Power of Purpose
Why am I here? What am I striving for in life? There is strength in living with purpose. I wrote about this in a few past blog posts listed below.
I look at life a lot more holistically today than I had previously. I see the connections between body, mind, and spirit. For a man to be all he was created to be, he must be strong in all three.
For me, I know why I am here on earth at this time. I have been saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. God saved me from the highway to hell and put me on a path of purpose and value. He has called me to live a life that demonstrates an appreciation to Him for what He has done. His calling is to do this with all my heart, all my mind, all my spirit, and all my strength. I have been saved by grace (unmerited favor) through faith in the person of Jesus and what he has done on my behalf. It is not by works that I am saved, but I am saved to do good works in the name of the one that saved me, Jesus.
So I have developed my own mission statement. “Honor God, be true to the man in the mirror, and be a rock for those around me.”
The foundation to accomplish this mission is to be a man who is continuously improving physically, mentally, and spiritually. I must be an overall strong man to truly honor the God that made me. It is about being a good steward of the life he created in me. I must stay true to the man he made me to be. I cannot be influenced by the opinions of others, the expectations of others, and the validation of others. I must work to stay authentic to who I was created to be.
In the end, if I do these things, I will be a rock for those around me. I know God has called me to lead and influence others, and that begins with being an example worth following. It starts in my home and extends out from there.
Today I work hard to keep moving forward and keep improving. I have done a lot of work to cut out the bullshit in my day-to-day life that has often cluttered my days. These are things that added no value and did not move me forward on my mission. It is amazing how much you can get done when you eliminate the things that do not move you forward.
Read More:
A Simple Vision, Focus and Target for Improving Your Life
Living Life in the Sweet Spot of Your Unique Design
The Powerful Impact of a Man that Knows His Destiny
The Call to Action
So, where are you on the path of moving from Comfortable Complacency to Daily Discipline? I can tell you if you are still more complacent than disciplined, you are heading for painful times. You might think you are okay, but that is only because you do not really know how good it can be on the other side. Challenge yourself. Look yourself in the mirror for 1 minute. Eyeball to eyeball, look at yourself, and be honest. Do you like the man in the mirror? Are you happy with the path you are on? Where are the gaps physically, mentally, and spiritually? Start to embrace the pain as fuel to change, seek out peers going in the same direction you want to go, and build a mission that brings purpose into your life. Get on the path to a better life, brother. No one ever regrets this!
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In your corner,
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
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