The Insidious Nature of Comfort in the Life of a Man

Chasing comfort is slowly and subtly destroying men.

Comfort has lulled today’s modern man into weakness, and most do not even realize it. We have enjoyed the easy life of our day without recognizing it is making us into something most of us never set out to be. Little by little, as a result of living a comfortable life, many men have lost their strength. As a result, few remain that can genuinely be the rock amid the world’s chaos.

Men Chasing Comfort

For several generations now, in most of the world, life has become significantly more comfortable. For most people in the United States specifically, this comfort has made it easy to survive.

This ease is especially true when contrasted with the lives of our ancestors. Life used to be hard. Living required the ability to work through and overcome hardships. Men needed to be physically and mentally strong. They were farming, hunting, and gathering food. They were providing shelter and protection for those under their care and responsibility. If men were not strong physically, mentally, and spiritually people died.

Though advancements have provided “good lives” to many people, there is a downside. Men no longer have to exert themselves to live. They can survive while being lazy in body, mind, and spirit. They can take the easy path.

On the surface, this seems okay. But, there is a problem. Chasing comfort has produced many weak men. This weakness among men is not good news for men, families, workplaces, and society.

I found myself drifting in this direction a few years ago. I was going down the wrong path. Below is a snapshot of my typical day.

I would wake up, eat something convenient rather than healthy. Go to work, eat a lunch based more on convenience and taste than the right fuel for my body. Return home feeling tired and exhausted, eat dinner and look for a way to relax and be entertained until bedtime. The next day I repeated.

In this cycle, I developed bad habits that made the downhill slide even faster. One day I realized I was on a path, destroying my life and negatively impacting those around me. I needed to change. I was dying on the inside.

Many men are where I was. It happens slowly and subtly until one day you wake up and realize you are out of shape and not the man you want to be. You no longer look good in the mirror. You begin to wear clothes that cover up a body that does not make you proud. Your confidence begins to wane. If this goes on too long, you start feeling bad. Feeling bad gives way to medical issues.

All of this causes you to tire quickly. The tired man begins to lose mental strength. He cannot handle the stress of life and begins to react to the world’s burdens rather than respond from a place of virtue and values. He starts losing the decision making battle. Bad choices lead to bad relationships. Slowly he loses his ability to lead well.

The man on this path will lose his positive impact on his family, workplace, and community. He will become powerless and mission-less. One day he will realize no one is following him.

The truly heartbreaking thing for me is that some men never get out of this spiral. They become so depressed and dark they take their own lives. Suicide among men is happening in our society at an alarming rate. (Men die by suicide 3.5x more often than women. On average, there are 132 suicides per day. White males accounted for 7 of 10 suicides in 2016.)

Changing the Trajectory

Hopefully, it is now clear why we need to change. We cannot continue to chase comfort and expect to live the life God designed men to live. These two things cannot coexist. If we want to be the man God created us to be, we need to get on a path to daily improve our strength in body, mind, and spirit. To do this, we need to build routine stress (hardship) into these areas of our lives.

For me, my journey involved several changes.

Physically, I changed my diet and built a vigorous exercise routine. When this routine starts to get comfortable, I push it to the next level. Slowly and steadily moving into more challenging and more demanding workouts.

Mentally, I began a routine of digging into how I think about myself. I concentrated on how I was thinking about myself and whether this aligned with who I am. I found I developed many ideas and behaviors that were not me. Many resulted from external influences. I had molded myself into behaving to align with the expectations and opinions of others. I also found there were times I was driven by the validation of others. These things kept me from living authentically.

I did a deep dive into how God designed and molded me. This analysis included understanding my personality, strengths, weaknesses, gifts, abilities, and experiences. I studied who I am in relationship to God. In all this, I now routinely challenge my thinking to align with the truth of who I am. I am becoming more authentic, stronger, and more unshakable in my mindset.

Spiritually, I needed to build up my relationship with God. I needed to build a Bible study routine, meditation, and prayer to know Him better and allow His strength to become my strength. In Him, I gain wisdom, internal power, which results in calm courage and boldness.

These routines are not easy to consistently do. There are many times I do not feel like doing them. In my mind, I come up with excuses to back off. At times these excuses are solid, and the majority of people would accept them. But I do not want to be like the majority of people. As men, we should want to be the best version of the man God created us to be. This will always set us apart.

As strange as it sounds, eventually, doing hard things becomes enjoyable. I now know that doing hard things leads to a better, stronger version of the man God created me to be.

So what about you? What comforts are you chasing that you know are making you weak rather than strong?

If you want to make a difference with the life God has given you, turn from chasing comfort and lean into the hardship that brings strength. Change your trajectory today. Begin walking a new path, which leads to becoming the man God designed you to be.

There are significant gains on the other side of hardship. There is a better, stronger version of you. Everyone around you will benefit when you get on that path. Get started today.

The Benefits of Making the Change

So what are the benefits of turning away from chasing comfort and leaning into hardships?

The benefits begin with you. Over time, if you are consistent, you will look in the mirror and see a transformation. You will see a man you can respect. You will begin to see yourself becoming the man you always wanted to be.

Physical change is a big part of this. But this transformation will be more than physical. You will look yourself in the eyes and be confident that the man looking back is on the right path. You will realize that tomorrow, the man you see in the mirror will be a little better than the one you look at today. You will be on the way to becoming a man worth following.

For me, this process brought tremendous clarity to understanding who God intended me to be and what I am here to do. My mission has become apparent. The same will happen to you if you commit to continuously improving. You will begin to change from a man enslaved by the pressures of life, habits, and vices to a man on a mission with followers in tow.

Over time your relationships will become more robust, and your influence will grow. People will look at you differently because you will be different. You will be on the path to being the man, the leader, the husband, and the father God designed you to be. What man does not want those things?

So, what are you waiting for? Now is the best time to get started. Do not put it off. Begin to do the work today!

If you do not have a brotherhood of strong men that will help you make the changes above check out the Fraternity of Excellence – click here.

Related Post: 7 Lessons to Being a Mentally Strong Man

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Related Post: Confidence: 4 Easy Ways to Boost Yours

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In your corner,

“As Iron Sharpens Iron, so one man sharpens another. “