Grit: 3 Ways to Develop the Drive to Overcome :

The unstoppable drive to achieve results or outcomes despite resistance or obstacles … This is grit. Grit is something all men should strive to develop in their lives. It is the mental toughness that makes men solid rocks. The man with grit is the stalwart that leads others through the storms of life. This is what men are called to be.

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When I was 12 years old, I went deer hunting for the first time. My dad took me to hunting camp, which was located in the mountains of Pennsylvania. I was the first son of all the men to enter into this “fraternity” called hunting camp. It was something I looked forward to from my earliest memories. This was going to be my first time among the men doing men things. And in Pennsylvania, hunting camp was a strong part of the culture of men.

I entered hunting camp with eyes and ears wide open. I was there to listen, learn, and find my place in this world of men. As a young man, I had a strong desire to develop into a man who deserved to “sit at the table” among other men.

That year we had a lot of snow, and it was extremely cold, much colder than the norm. In addition to this, I would be hunting with a man that had a reputation as a true mountain man. My dad hunted hard and often hunted deeper into the mountains than most hunters in camp. He had stories of hard hunts that required effort above and beyond what most men were willing to give. He often ventured so far from his truck he had to find the nearest road and hitchhike back to his vehicle. He worked hard in his pursuit of the whitetail buck. Though he never put pressure on me, I felt like I needed to live up to that reputation as his son.

So when we hunted that first day, it was bitter cold. These were different times, and the clothing of the day was not what it is today. The synthetics that wick sweat from the body and hold heat did not exist back then. And so we sat as long as we could. To generate body heat, we would get up and work our way through the snow to another spot.

After several hours, despite our efforts to stay warm, I was shaking like a leaf. My dad was visibly concerned, and he asked me if I wanted to go back to camp to warm up. In my heart, I wanted to stick it out, but I was having a hard time.

After asking me a couple more times, I eventually said yes. We started walking back toward our vehicle. On the way, we walked down the side of the mountain to a small stream. There we ran into another hunter dragging a buck he had just shot. We talked with him for a few minutes. After we went our separate ways, I told my dad I thought I could stay out for the remainder of the day. We did. We made it to dark.

This was one of those times when I was able to dig deep and push through great discomfort to achieve something I had dreamed about for years. I wanted to get a buck. I also wanted to prove I could handle the hardship of hunting in the roughest conditions. I knew my best chance of getting a buck was to stay out for the entire day. In Pennsylvania, the first day presents the greatest opportunity to see that shooter buck. There are more hunters in the woods, and as a result, more deer are being pushed to move. This was my best chance. My determination overcame my discomfort.

That night something happened that impacted me. While sitting among the men in camp I realized I did something that many grown men did not do. Most men came back to camp mid-day because of the harsh conditions. We, however, stayed out from dark to dark. The men in camp were impressed. I felt like this was one step toward earning a place at the table among men. I could tell by the way they looked at me that I earned a level of respect.

I did not get a buck for another two years, but I learned something about myself that first year. I was able to push through hardship and garner the respect of other men. I was learning about the power of grit. Grit would serve me well throughout my life, whether playing sports, doing the things others did not want to do at work or just pushing forward to achieving daily goals. Even today, I continue to look for ways to further develop this grit. To me, it is a superpower in the life of men.

So when I think about developing grit I think about three words: Desire, Hardship, and Reinforcement.

Desire

We need a strong, lasting desire to want to be men of grit.

Men desire to be men worthy of respect. As in my story at 12, I had a strong desire to “earn a seat at the table of men” and show that I have what it takes to down a whitetail buck. I wanted to prove myself to be a man among men, a man worthy of respect. This fueled my determination and pushed me beyond what I thought I could do. In this, I began to develop grit.

When I think about it, I realize that most men respect those that overcome obstacles and hardships and go on to win. Most men desire to be that kind of man. So a foundational part of developing grit is a strong desire to possess it and demonstrate it. We need to see its value and want to be men of grit.

But there is more to making this a lasting desire. Often, the challenge with this desire is maintaining it over time. The desire to be a man of grit can wane when we think we are alone in the fight. This is especially true if we are surrounded by men that have no desire for grit. In this situation, with no support, it can be difficult to stay on the path. One way to ensure this does not happen is to surround ourselves with men that also value this mindset.

So it is important to evaluate the men we are closest to. Are they aligned and supportive? Are they helping us or hindering us in our quest to be stronger men? In this process, we may discover we need to make some difficult decisions. We may need to pull away from some and seek new ones to ensure we are surrounded by the right men with the right values.

I have discovered that our tribe of men makes a huge difference in our ability to stay the course. We need to be a part of a group of men who are always pushing and never giving up. When you surround yourself with these men, you will automatically start becoming the same type of man. You will have no choice.

Hardship

Life is full of hardships. We do not have to live long to figure this out. Every time we turn around, it seems we face challenges that make life difficult. It will always be this way. Jesus himself told us, “In this world, you will have trouble.” So when faced with hardship, we are given an opportunity to either fight or quit.

Quitters push until things get really hard and then give up to return to comfort. Quitters will be defeated. They cannot win consistently. The only person that wins consistently is the one that fights. Grit is about responding with the will to fight.

Building up the will to keep fighting is something we can develop. Over time we can learn how to lean into hardship and develop the grit to never give up and win. But rather than waiting for the next hardship, we need to build hard things into our lives.

So what hard things are we doing that will help us develop more grit in our lives? I have found the best place for me to consistently do hard things is in my workouts. First of all, I get up at 4:30 am every day. That in itself is hard. But also, I try to mix up my workouts, so they continue to be difficult. I push myself in this area all the time.

But I also push into hard things in other areas of my life. For example, at work, I lean into those things I do not particularly enjoy doing and get them done first. I force myself to have conversations I would rather not have. At home, I do the things I would rather avoid without giving myself time to think through how much it will suck. These are all ways we can develop grit.

What we discover is that this battle is almost entirely in the mind. Our minds naturally want to take the easiest, safest route. It is all about self-preservation and avoiding pain. We are wired this way. But this is not what is best for us as men. High-value men are those with the ability to handle hardship well. We are called to be the solid rock for those around us.

The only way to dial this in is to routinely enter into hardship and develop the grit to persevere through it with strength. This needs to become the way we live our lives. Building hardship into our routine will make us stronger physically, mentally, and spiritually. We need to push up against difficult situations that make our minds tell us it is time to give up. When we start thinking, we cannot do more, we need to push a little further. Routinely move past that point.

We must stay on top of this. Because once we start a routine to get better, we will improve to the point where hard is no longer hard. Our mind adjusts to new “limits.” We need to continuously push past these “limits.” Push into the things that suck.

Reinforcement

Keep the fire going.

One of the greatest reinforcements of grit for me has been the results produced by this mindset. Grit in my diet and exercise resulted in losing 28 pounds of fat, developing muscle, and feeling great. But this impacted so much more than what I see in the mirror. With it came confidence, mental strength, and stronger abilities in other areas with nothing to do with physical strength.

Developing grit has helped me in having the will power to eliminate vices and bad habits. This has resulted in a sense of freedom within my soul. My experience is that developing grit in one area of my life always produces results in other areas of my life, and those results are always far greater than I anticipated they would be.

Another area of reinforcement comes from my tribe of men. The feedback from other men we respect reinforces the pursuit of developing grit. When your tribe recognizes the grit in you by what you consistently do, it fuels your desire to do it more often.

In leading men, we often talk about if you want a good action to repeat itself, you need to recognize it. What you recognize is likely to repeat itself. If you are a part of a tribe of men pursuing excellence in all aspects of being a man and you are putting in the work, they will see and acknowledge your work. This is like a shot in the arm. This is especially true when it comes from men you respect. This is one more reason why it is important to surround yourself with the right men pursuing the right things.

Call to Action

What areas of your life are weak and in need of more grit? Identify one or two. Now, what can you do in those areas that you know will be hard but will make you a better man? Do that thing today. Do not fall into the trap of planning or figuring out how you will do it later. Just do it now. Then adjust. Plan while doing. Plan how you can be consistent and develop your routine. But start doing. Once you are in motion, you are most likely to keep going. DO and push yourself until what you are doing gets hard.

Secondly, build your tribe of men of grit. Find men that will support the direction you are going. Find men that are going in the same direction of continuously improving.

If you do not have a tribe or cannot find a tribe. Join mine. I am a member of the Fraternity of Excellence. Click on the link here or on my home page to find out more.

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