Changing My Direction

How many times have you experienced frustration in making lasting changes in your life?

I have experienced this disappointment. There was a time I was not living up to what I believe it means to be a man. I was off course and drifting into a general attitude of complacency. My life was unraveling. I knew the journey I was on was not going to end well. I needed to make substantial, lasting changes.

Not only did I see I was going in the wrong direction, I knew I had the potential to be much better. I knew that inside was this hard-charging, driven, results-oriented man. But there were critical areas of my life where I had lost the passion.

When you are disappointed in yourself, it can suck the life out of you. That was my situation. I was out of shape, focused only on work, and chasing comfort. Rather than working hard to be the man I wanted to be, I was complacent.

Yet today, I am thriving more than at any other time in my life. I am improving every day physically, mentally, and spiritually. I am determined to be the man I am called to be. I have a vision for my life, and I am making progress toward it every day.

(Read, “A Simple Vision, Focus and Target for Improving Your Life”)

Today I am leading better than ever and increasing my influence at home, work, and beyond. I am moving forward according to who I am and what I am called to do as a man. I have regained my purpose and passion for life. I am living more authentically every day.

What is the #1 reason for this improvement? I am connected to a group of high-value men. These are men that are improving their lives, achieving goals, and becoming stronger. These connections have made a significant difference in my life.

I am convinced that men who make connections with high-value men will see dramatic improvements in their lives also.

I believe every man should have these connections. Men feed off other men. They excel when connected to men of like mind and direction. There are tremendous advantages to being connected to high-value brothers. Here are a few I have experienced.

A Place to Unload

Every time you complain, talk about your losses, share your frustrations, you lose influence, and weaken your position as a leader. Your calling is to bear the load. Others should be able to lean on you. As a high-value man, you should be leading your wife, your children, and your co-workers.

Unloading on these people or unloading in their midst negatively impacts your ability to lead them. When you become unglued with those you are called to lead, it is always damaging.

But, the pressures men face are real. Too many men are succumbing to these pressures. They are destroying their physical and mental health, relationships, careers, etc. Men need to blow off this steam.

I believe the place for this is with other men. Brothers understand the stresses of responsibility and leading. They know the weight you must bear. And brothers help carry the load.

I have found that sometimes all I need is a place to rant and release some emotion. By getting the emotion out, I tend to gain clarity and the ability to focus on solutions. For me, this process helps me get back into the right frame of mind. I come out of this process, ready to re-engage and lead.

Challenging and Feedback

At some time or another, you will feel like slacking off. If you are not careful, this slacking off can become a habit. In a short time, you will find yourself falling back into your old ways. Complacency creeps back into your life.

But if you are a part of a brotherhood of high-value men, you will be challenged. High-value men are always pushing to get better. They challenge themselves, and they also challenge those around them.
These men will ask you questions that make you face your reality. They will live what you should be living. Their example becomes contagious. Just by being associated with them, you will feel the push and realize, “I need to step up my game!”

At other times, in your journey, you will run up against barriers. You want to keep improving, but you just cannot figure out how to breakthrough. High-value brothers will help you talk through these issues. Chances are one or more of them have been where you are. Often these conversations bring clarity to the next step. You see the answer and get back on the path, moving forward.

Accomplishments

When you are a part of a group of high-value men, you have access to countless experiences, skills, and abilities. Being connected to these men opens doors. You can learn from men that made mistakes, worked through them, and learned how to do things well. You will learn life hacks that bring efficiency and effectiveness into your life. You improve your capability as a man.

In the end, you accomplish more and get results quickly. I have experienced this in multiple ways.

One way is in starting this blog. I have connections to men that have been blogging for years. They are established and successful. So when I expressed a desire to influence through writing, they were there to help me get started. Since then, they have taught me more things than I have had the opportunity to apply. It has been incredible. I have covered so much ground, and yet I still feel like I am just getting started. There is no way I would have been able to achieve as much as I have as quickly as I have without these men.

A second way I have experienced this is by dialing in my fitness. I have access to men that know what they are talking about. They live it and have businesses engaged in helping people achieve their fitness goals. Questions I have about diet and exercise are quickly answered with tons of information to read and study. Access to these men has helped me achieve great results. Again, I feel like I am only just beginning.

I could continue with examples in fatherhood, relationships, leadership, etc. I have a long list of opportunities to improve myself as a man. This is directly related to being connected to this group of men.

When you are connected to high-value men, your only hindrance to accomplishing more is you. You must identify the areas you want to improve, communicate this, and take responsibility for taking action and doing the work. If you do these things, you will accomplish far more than you ever thought possible. You will quickly stack up the accomplishments and successes.

Masculinity promotes Masculinity

There is no better place to learn what it means to be a man than amid other high-value men. We live in a day where you must seek this out. High-value masculine men are not what the general society is promoting these days. However, I believe there is a growing undertow of men pushing back against this trend. More men are coming together and building communities that support masculine men. I think this is a critical need in our world. The world always has and always will need strong, masculine men.

Connecting to high-value men puts you in a position to learn strong masculinity. By engaging with these men, you will see how they respond to life. You get first-hand insight into how other men think and approach their day to day roles and responsibilities. You will build and refine your personal approach with the examples and ideas you gather.

This has helped me refine my vision, focus, and target in life. (“A Simple Vision, Focus and Target for Improving Your Life”) This has helped me clarify who I am, what I want to do, and the impact I want to have in this world. Engaging with high-value men brings out a desire to pursue excellence. Being around good men is infectious. You can’t help but become a better man.

Now What?

So what about you? Are you connected to high-value men? Maybe you know some high-value men in your circles. Make the move. Reach out and start meeting as a group. Or do a little research. There are several quality men’s groups on the internet. One of the best I found is The Fraternity of Excellence. I am a member of FoE, and also have a link on the sidebar of my blog. I highly recommend this group if you are serious about improving as a man. Check it out here.

Whether it is through FoE or another group, join forces with other men. Work together to become the man you always wanted to be. The world needs strong masculine men that influence and positively impact the world around them! This is your calling. It is time to engage. Make the connections. Do the work to be a high-value man.

As always I appreciate your visit to Men of Grit!

In your corner,

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

MORE FROM MEN OF GRIT

Visit Book Recommendations for books that have impacted my life. I will continue to add more.

Seeing the Creator in Creation. “A Vision of the Creator in the Wild and the Wild in the Creator”

Ready to improve the trajectory of your life? “A Simple Vision, Focus and Target for Improving Your Life”

Inspired thoughts from backpacking in the Rocky Mts. “The Irresistible Call of the Wild”

Why should you focus on fitness? “The Fuel Behind a Passionate Fire for Fitness”

Help your son transition into manhood. “The Exciting Challenges of Breaking Into The World Of Manhood”

Putting your faith on the line and experience God. “The Man that “Puts It On The Line” Experiences God”

Challenge your view of Jesus. “The Rugged Man’s Perspective of the Other Side of Jesus”

Love Football? Learn from a past winner. “Driven to Be the Best: The Fierce Leader of the Men of Steel.

A man’s leadership does not end with the workday. “Do Hard Things”

What I have discovered is that often the most significant challenge we have in improving our lives is the challenge we see in the mirror. Many of the problems we experience as men are influenced by or originate with us. Too often, our complaints about the behaviors of wives, children, coworkers, and employees are a direct reflection of how we are living our lives. Many times we are blinded to the tremendous impact we have on these relationships. As a result, the finger continues to be pointed “out there.” We say, “The reason my life is not as good as it should be is because of … this person, that situation, my circumstances, etc.”

As a man living the life he is called to live, you and I have significant influence over the world around us. Often this influence is far more significant than we realize. Our actions produce ripples that impact lives. Like the rock thrown into the pool, the people closest to us are those that will experience the highest wave of our influence. As husbands, fathers, and leaders in the workplace, we have tremendous power that can make a difference in other people’s lives. Whether we acknowledge it or not, we are influencing lives. The question is, how well are we influencing those lives?

When we realize this, we also recognize that any effort to improve our situation in life has to start with improving us. Is it possible that our influence could be a significant contributor to many of the problems we battle in our lives? When we become better men with a strong vision, building a strong foundation, and being purposeful in our impact on those around us, we will be amazed at how our lives change for the better. I have experienced this, and I have observed the same in the lives of other men.

So when we look in the mirror, do we see the type of man that inspires others to go in the right direction? When we evaluate our actions, decisions, and accomplishments, are we on a path worth following? What kind of legacy are we producing? If these questions reveal opportunities in our lives, then it is time to close the gaps and level up as a man. It is time to get on the right path and improve. It is time to start moving in a different direction.

How do we get started improving ourselves, so we are influencing others in the right direction? I have found that rather than create a bunch of rules to follow, it is more effective to establish some guidelines for the life you want to live and the influence you want to have. The rest of this article will lay out an example from my own experience of a simple framework I have used to ensure I am continuously moving in the direction I want to go and, in turn, the direction I want to influence those around me.

This framework consists of three elements that I will call a Guiding Vision, a Foundational Focus, and a Targeted Impact. The Guiding Vision is the big picture, the Foundational Focus is the routine that supports the big picture, and the Targeted Impact is the relationships I want to be purposeful about influencing. Let’s take a closer look at each of these.

Guiding Vision

Think about your goals as a man. What are you striving for in life? For me, I want to honor God, be true to the man in the mirror, and be a rock to those around me. This vision gives me purpose and direction in life. It is the compass that keeps me on track. I continually have this short sentence in my mind. It drives me. It also helps me to course-correct at times.

As I am working through the day, I have the following questions rolling around in my head. Is this honoring God and what I know He reveals in His Word, the Bible? Am I faithful to who I am, or am I being influenced to be someone I am not? Am I providing strong leadership and being a stabilizing force for those around me?

This vision directs me. To me, this is far greater than a set of rules to follow. I have a clear picture of what I am striving to accomplish. It gives me purpose and guides me to live according to my convictions. It keeps me on the path.

What is your purpose in life? How do you want to live? What does this look like? Can you simplify this idea into a few easy to remember phrases that you carry in your mind every day? Having this established in your life keeps you on a path and heading in a direction. It becomes your compass that leads to a specific destination rather than just wondering aimlessly through life being pushed around by the storms of life. Too many men are just living the grind with no sense of purpose. Don’t be one of those men.

Think about your vision. Write it down and refine it. Then, start living it!

Foundational Focus

So when I think about fulfilling the vision of honoring God, being true to the man in the mirror, and being a rock for those around me, I realize that to do this well, I need to be a strong man. I cannot work toward that vision if I am not striving to be stronger every day. In my mind, if I want to move forward in this vision, then I need to develop ways to improve in three main areas. I must be strong physically, mentally, and spiritually. I need to optimize myself in these three areas so I can perform at my highest level and continue on the path to my vision.

Because of this, I have built a routine to grow in these areas. Every day I take steps to improve and get stronger than I was the day before. Physically I maintain a good diet, get routine exercise, and get good sleep. Spiritually, I pray, read, and study the Bible and learn how to relate to God in a way that honors him. Mentally, I listen to podcasts, read articles and books, and engage with other men to learn in areas that will help me in carrying out my vision. I live a life of continuous learning.

Daily I am strengthening my body, mind, and soul. As I do, it provides me a solid foundation to successfully carry out my vision. For example, I need to be dialed in physically to have the energy to be on my game at work and home. I need to be dialed in mentally to make the right decisions, give good direction, and to lead well to those dependent upon my leadership. I need to be in tune with God’s desires and understand his ways if I am going to act in ways that honor him.

These things will not happen if I do not build a routine to keep improving in these three areas. And so for me, I have approached building this foundation this way. I looked at my schedule and determined a time when I can get certain routine activities completed consistently and without disruption.

My routine starts at 4:30 am every day. Every morning I wake up, listen to bible reading (Bible in a year), workout (I do a HIIT type workout every morning), pray, write for my blog, and then I listen to a book or podcast on my drive to and from work. In addition to this, I lift weights four times a week in the evenings with my son. I also adhere to a strict diet, counting calories and macros for six days a week, and on one day, I will step outside the diet to indulge in a treat or two.

This is my routine, and it ensures I am growing physically, mentally, and spiritually every day. I do other things in these areas throughout the week, but this is my foundational routine. This is the non-negotiable part of my routine, and I do it at a time when the likelihood of being disrupted is very low. It works for me and has for quite some time now.

The challenge for you is to build a routine that works for you. Build a routine that supports your vision. Build a routine that has a schedule with a high probability of success. Also, know that it will likely require some sacrifice on your part. You will probably have to give up something to build an effective routine. I started getting up at 4:30 am, and for a couple of weeks, felt like a zombie. But after establishing this routine and figuring out my sleeping schedule, I now am in the best physical condition I have ever been, and I feel better than I have for a long time. I love my morning routine and work hard to maintain it. I have come to realize that without this routine, I will not be strong enough to follow my vision with any real success. Build yours and start getting results.

Want some good insight into how fitness ties into so many other areas of life?

Read “The Fuel Behind a Passionate Fire For Fitness.”

Targeted Impact

Three Main Roles

As men, we are called to be leaders. Building a Guiding Vision and establishing a strong Foundation makes us high-value men and leaders worth following. But who do you want to influence the most? What lives are most important to you as you zero in your influence? This is what I mean by “Targeted Impact.” It is about being purposeful in the roles and relationships that mean the most to you.

For me, I have three roles as a man that I want to optimize and target: my role as a husband, a father, and as a leader of men. As I live, I am continually challenging myself to maintain these three as the focus of my life. It does not mean I don’t value relationships outside these, but just that I want to keep these roles as my top priority. I will fight to ensure the craziness of the world does not squeeze them out. These three roles are where I want to focus my time learning, growing, and improving through action.

Impact as a Husband

I desire to be a rock to those around me. That is first and foremost as a husband. I need to continually learn and dial in my role as a husband to be the strongest leader I can be. I am the one to uphold the standard in my home, set the direction, and lead from the front. I set the tone through my attitude, my approach to life, and my example.

The resource that has had the greatest impact on my life in growing as a husband has been the men I associate with through the Fraternity of Excellence. This group has helped me grow as a husband more than any other resource in my life. They are a group of brothers that hold me accountable for doing the things that will enable me to grow and be a stronger leader in my home. I am grateful for them. They are great resources and have helped me tremendously. For your benefit, I have included several blogs from these men at the bottom of this article. You will notice that many of them offer additional resources that you can take advantage of to grow even more and increase your impact and strengthen your relationship with your wife or LTR.

Impact as a Father

The second area and role I target to strengthen and grow is my role as a father. I think a lot about the legacy I am building for my son. It is important to me to build this relationship and prepare him to enter manhood so he can positively impact this world. I am learning key principles about engaging with him and being present in his life. I am continually pushing myself to improve in this role and develop this relationship in the few years I have with him.

Again, having a tribe of brothers that are also fathers and working to become better fathers has been a tremendous benefit. Many of the blogs below have articles and resources related to improving and becoming a better father. I want to draw attention to a brother of mine that has been especially helpful to me on a personal level. His blog is called Peaceful Fathers. You will find great articles full of ideas on how to sharpen your skills as a father and build a relationship that influences your children. Build that legacy!

Impact as a Leader of Men

Lastly, I target my influence outside my home and specifically in leading and influencing men. This includes my friendships, work relationships, church relationships, and community relationships. Wherever I can have influence and lead other men to improve their lives, that’s where I want to place my emphasis. Men of Grit has been developed for this reason. It is intended to influence and positively impact the lives of men. I have included a few resources below that have helped me in this area also. I have also included a number of books in audiobook and hardcover on my Book Recommendations page. Click Here to view.

Build Your Own Vision, Foundational Focus and Targeted Impact

What about your vision, foundational focus, and targeted impact? Though it would be fine to follow the path I am on, I think each man needs to figure out his own path. You need to design a path that works for you. For me, I continue to learn and tweak my path as I go. As part of my vision, focus, and the impact I listen and learn from other men. I don’t know that I fully embrace everything a single man shares, but I learn something from everyone. I continually find nuggets that help me. Sometimes, aspects of what works for me will not work for someone else. Some of the men I listen to and learn from are highly successful in life and doing exceptionally well. But following their path precisely in my life just would not work.

But I often apply aspects of what they are doing and just modify it to what I know will work for me. My norm is to just do it and then adjust and modify to make it work in my life. My advice would be, do not think about it too long. Just get started building your vision, foundation, target and start moving forward! The key is to keep trying things that align with your vision and foundational focus and targeted impact until you find the right combination that starts delivering the results you desire. Keep moving, keep improving, and watch your influence and impact grow!

Resources to Support Your Improvement as a Man

Masculine by Design

The Family Alpha

The Strong Male

Texas Dom

The Barbarian Rhetoric

Peaceful Fathers

Jocko Podcast – Leadership and Discipline

Deep Leadership – Jon S Rennie

If you’ve enjoyed this content click LIKE or leave a comment below!

As always I appreciate your visit to Men of Grit!

In your corner,

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

MORE FROM MEN OF GRIT

Inspired thoughts from backpacking in the Rocky Mts. Read, “The Irresistible Call of the Wild”

A different perspective on why you should focus on fitness. Read, “The Fuel Behind a Passionate Fire for Fitness”

How to help your son transition from boy to man. Read “The Exciting Challenges of Breaking Into The World Of Manhood”

Putting your faith on the line opens the opportunity to experience God. Read “The Man that “Puts It On The Line” Experiences God”

Challenge your view of Jesus. Read “The Rugged Man’s Perspective of the Other Side of Jesus”

Love Football? Learn lessons from the past to win today. Read “Driven to Be the Best: The Fierce Leader of the Men of Steel.

A man’s leadership does not end with the workday. Read “Do Hard Things”

Visit Book Recommendations for books that have impacted my life. I will continue to add more.

In some fashion or another, I have worked out most of my life. I started when I played sports in high school, continued through college and into my adult life. But there was a time not so long ago when I became much more complacent. I fell into a rut. I was not pushing myself, was not seriously motivated to get fit, and was eating all the wrong things. In general, I was not disciplined.

It did not take long before the pounds started adding up. One day I had a blood test as part of a physical and the results were not good. They were not alarming to the doctor but he recommended I change some things in my life. But to me, they were clearly the worst results of my life. The path I was on was not a good one. This opened my eyes to the fact that I needed to change my course.

This was the impetus of the changes I have since made in my life. What started out as improving fitness evolved into improving in many other areas of my life. This has become a lifestyle. Today I am a man that lives to continuously improve and level up. My desire is to maximize the gifts, skills, and abilities God has given me.

Since starting down the road of improving my fitness, I now see fitness positively impacting many other aspects of my life. These aspects are critical to me maximizing the life I have been given. Some of these aspects have become the fuel behind a passionate fire for fitness in my life. Below are those that mean the most to me. My hope is that they also ignite a fire in you to start down a similar path. If you are already on that path then maybe this will add a little fuel to an already existing passion. Enjoy the read!

Fitness Increases Confidence

Physical fitness fosters confidence in men. Confidence is foundational to being a man. Confidence helps in work, relationships, and is a key factor in leading others. No one follows men that are not confident in themselves.

Like it or not fitness exudes confidence. When I was out of shape and another man entered the room that was fit I sensed a hit to my confidence. I knew I should be on that same path and the only reason I wasn’t was because of weakness in me. At that time I lacked the grit to overcome my weakness, get the results, and win the long game.

When you start getting fit you will notice a difference in your mindset and in the influence you have on those around you. They will look at you and know that what you set your mind to do will happen. Your physical fitness is witness to this. You will become a more confident man.

Fitness Increases the Ability to Handle Stress

Stress naturally occurs when you are being the man you were called to be. Men living their roles take responsibility in every area of their lives. They carry the weight, make the decisions, and chart the course. This brings stress into the life of a man.

Routinely working to improve and maintain your fitness level relieves stress. I do some kind of workout every day. I lift weights 4 times a week but every morning I do a workout that is cardio or HIIT related. These morning workouts only take 20 minutes. They are good cardio and burn a lot of calories. But the side benefit is it relaxes me. It helps put me in the right frame of mind to tackle the day. It relieves stress.

Are you experiencing a lot of stress? Start working out and eating right. You will notice a difference almost immediately.

Fitness Increases Energy Levels and Grit

Getting fit increases energy levels. In my article Do Hard Things I talk about how we are always on call as a leader whether at work or at home. It is critical to have enough energy to respond in the way a leader should respond.

Do I always respond correctly? No. However, I am improving every day. One of the main reasons for this is because I have greater energy throughout the day as a result of being fit. I have more in the tank that I can dig deep and muster up.

I’ve also noticed a difference in my grit since developing a fitness routine. Grit is defined as the unstoppable drive to achieve results or outcomes despite resistance or obstacles. Working out has conditioned me to face hardship and push through. I’ve noticed that even in times when I feel absolutely exhausted I can dig just a little deeper. This grit is a key factor in living a life of success no matter what you set out to accomplish. The process of getting physically fit helps build the grit within you to overcome weakness, get results, and win the long game of life.

Fitness Improves the Quality of Life and Prolongs Physical Activity

When you are physically fit, life is better. Over a lifetime you will be able to do more things longer than most people around you if you stay fit. How many times have you experienced people that were unable to do things with their children or grandchildren? Their physical condition had deteriorated to the point they could not engage without injuring themselves or putting themselves at risk. The more fit you are the better the quality of life you can have and the more things you will be able to do.

For me getting fit and staying fit will enable me to remain physically active deep into the later years of life. My wife and I started a family later than most. So at 53 years old, I have a 17-year-old son. He and I climb mountains and go on long challenging hikes in places like the Rocky Mountains. We backpack for days at a time. I want to be able to do these for many years to come. This means it is critical for me to continue to eat right, work hard, and stay in the best shape possible. I want to make many more memories.

Fitness Reduces the Probability and Improves the Ability to Fight Illness

Many of the top illnesses that impact people in the United States can be avoided by good fitness. Stack up the list of illnesses and you will see that the reason most Americans are susceptible is because of a lifestyle full of bad habits related to eating and exercise. The very best thing you can do right now is to improve in these areas. You have 100% control over what you eat and the exercise you do.

I have seen many people face illness and disease and fight the battles associated with them. It has become obvious to me that being in great shape entering into these battles will increase a persons’ ability to fight the good fight. Maybe there are some cases where it might not make a difference. But I believe in many it would have.

Another plus to building discipline around eating habits is that when combating illnesses you are often asked to make diet changes. If you are already eating clean you likely will not need to make changes. But, even if you do, you have already made the transition to thinking of food as fuel. You have broken the mental attachment to food that makes diet changes so difficult.

I choose to put myself in the best possible position to fight the good fight. I hope to never have to fight this battle but if I do I expect to be at a fitness level that allows me to do it well.

Fitness Ensures You Don’t Look Like the Easy Target

The world is becoming more chaotic. In today’s world, it is more likely that at some point you could find yourself in a position where others will threaten your well being. If you are physically fit it could be the reason a person avoids engaging in a conflict with you. Physically fit individuals do not look like easy targets.

Not only do you not look like an easy target but you have a better chance of defending yourself or getting away. Getting fit just puts you in a much better position should you find yourself in conflict. Getting fit and also learning how to defend yourself is always the best-case scenario.

The reality is this; there is evil in this world. Eventually, this evil could impact your life in some way. Get fit and be prepared. Don’t look like an easy target.

Fitness Honors the Creator

I am on this earth as a witness to the One that created me. He made me and bought me with a price paid by the blood of Christ. Being fit is honoring the God that made my body and has given me life. Eating right and being in good shape enables me to do the things God designed me to do and do them well. If I want to have the confidence, handle the stresses of life well, have the energy and stamina needed, and do what He has called me to do for as long as possible fitness needs to be a priority in my life.

Though the context of this verse is speaking of sexual behavior it easily applies to all areas relating to the stewardship of the body God has given us. “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19–20).

Honor your Creator and be the best version of you. Being physically fit enables you to maximize the honor you give Him.

Fitness in Action

Now I hope you are compelled to start down this road! On this path, there are only good things ahead for you. Push through the resistance to change and make it happen!

First, I would encourage you to get started immediately. Step up to the plate and do the work! Do it now! Do not wait until tomorrow. Do some push-ups and sit-ups until you build your plan. Do something while you are motivated and thinking about it.

Secondly, I have included a few links below. These are resources from men I know and trust. They can help you develop your game plan and improve your fitness through exercise and diet.

Visit the links below:

Death Blow to the Dad Bod

What is the Purpose of Exercise

Why Fitness Alone is Not Enough to Achieve Your Goals

Logik Fitness: Personal Training and Online Coaching

Physical fitness impacts our lives as men in more ways than we often think about. I hope these words have made you think through your situation. I hope this resonates with you and drives you to take action. In the end a man is not made by good intentions. A man is made by taking action. Take action today and start down the path of improving and becoming the man you have been created to be. You will never regret it.

Add your comments in the comments section below or send me an email by clicking on “EMAIL” on the menu bar above. I appreciate the feedback! If you like this post, click the like button below.

I appreciate your visit to Men of Grit!

In your corner,

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

MORE FROM MEN OF GRIT

What is Men of Grit about? Read “About Men of Grit”

How to help your son transition from boy to man. Read “The Exciting Challenges of Breaking Into The World Of Manhood”

Putting your faith on the line opens the opportunity to experience God. Read “The Man that “Puts It On The Line” Experiences God”

Challenge your view of Jesus. Read “The Rugged Man’s Perspective of the Other Side of Jesus”

Love Football? Learn lessons from the past to win today. Read “Driven to Be the Best: The Fierce Leader of the Men of Steel.

A man’s leadership does not end with the workday. Read “Do Hard Things”

Visit Book Recommendations for books that have impacted my life. I will continue to add more.

What comes to mind when you think of Jesus?

What words come to mind when you think of Jesus? What picture comes to mind? I would argue that the standard terms used to describe Jesus and the images that generally come to mind are “safe.” They fit a nice guy image that many masculine men have a hard time relating to. Often the descriptions of Jesus are designed to meet the narrative of our day. They are careful not to make him sound too masculine, which I think is unfortunate. This incomplete picture reduces the appeal and forms an image that is not the type of man most men would follow as their leader.

I think the narrative of the day concerning Jesus leaves many men wondering whether Christianity is right for them. They ask themselves, How does a rugged man’s man fit in Christianity? Other men end up calling themselves a Christian but do not fully embrace the faith and feel like they can never really be themselves. Some embrace the faith and work really hard to fit into a mold that is far less masculine than the man they truly are.

I am writing to share what I have discovered about Jesus that just might change your thinking when it comes to who he is. These are just a few things that have helped me relate to Jesus as a masculine man (there are many more than what I have written in this article). Some of them do not always fit the description we hear today but they are clearly written in the bible. Maybe reading them will renew interest or challenge you to take another look at Jesus and consider following him.

My Kind of Men

I have worked in the steel industry for almost 32 years. Leading in this industry is my calling. I have held several leadership positions and have had the privilege of working alongside many men over the years. Some of these men have been strong, tough, in your face, hard-charging and rugged. Many of these men tend to have a little edge to them. They aren’t safe men that always stay between the culture’s predetermined, acceptable lines. They push the limits and they enjoy doing so. These men are the type of men I like. They are tough-minded, a little on the wild side, and they are not wimps. They are men that sweat for a living. They don’t mind getting dirty. They work hard and they play hard. I relate to them. I am one of them. I have led them. They are my breed. I respect them.

Many Men Cannot Relate to the Jesus often portrayed today

So, when these men have a hard time relating to the Jesus I follow because they may not really know him completely, I take an interest. This inspires me to share the rugged, man’s man side of Jesus that we do not hear about often enough. You see, I know there are aspects of Jesus that many men CAN relate to. If we carefully read the bible for ourselves, we will see sides of Jesus that generally do not come to mind when most think of him. The typical list reads something like this: Jesus is loving, forgiving, humble, compassionate, gentle, self-controlled, patient, obedient, and honest. All of this is true. But this is only one side of who Jesus was. There was more. This same Jesus was also confrontational, bold, fearless, authentic, offensive, challenging, aggressive, passionate, and violent (meaning: using or involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone or something). There are things about Jesus that make him more relatable to men like me. He was a lot more gritty and aggressive than what is usually portrayed. I like knowing Jesus had that side to his personality.

The Other Side of Jesus

So, on the one hand, Jesus could show compassion for people that are down and out and in need. But on the other hand, he could demonstrate violent, passionate, zeal against those that should know better but instead chose to lead people down the wrong path. Jesus was more complex than we generally recognize. In many ways, he was a rugged man’s man. Here a few observations I have made.

Jesus Worked Hard, Got Dirty, and Sweated

First, Jesus was a man that knew how to work with his hands. He grew up as a tradesman. He was a carpenter, having worked side by side with his father, Joseph. Carpenters did various work, including roofing, making doors, lintels, shelves, tables, and cabinets. They also produced ladders, wheels, yokes for animals, and farm implements. Though some wood may have been available from suppliers, most carpenters went to the forests themselves to choose and cut down the trees that best suited the work they were doing. It was a job that was physical and required a high level of skill. So Jesus knows what it means to put in a hard day’s work. He has had dirt under his fingernails. He knows what it’s like to sweat. I like that about Jesus.

Jesus Was An Outdoorsman

Second, Jesus was an outdoorsman. He was mentally and physically tough, which is what it takes to survive in the wild. Jesus spent 40 days in the Judean wilderness. While there, it is noted that he was among the “wild animals.” The word used to describe wild animals meant they were animals that are typically dangerous to people. A quick study of the animals of the day in that part of the world includes the following; bears, leopards, wolves, cobras and desert vipers, scorpions, hyenas, jackals, desert foxes, and wild boars. Now think about it. Amid these animals, Jesus survived 40 days. I have spent a lot of time in the wild. If you have ever spent time out in the wild, you know it is not easy to do. Only tough-minded men can live in the wild, even with the equipment of today. A man that spends 40 days alone in the wild with this list of animals would be considered a rugged, man’s man in my book. This alone would be a right of passage into becoming a man of men.

It is interesting that even after this time of 40 days in the wilderness and throughout his three and a half years of public ministry, Jesus did not have a home. He told others who wanted to follow him that “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head” Several times, he spent entire nights on the mountain tops praying. This was a common thing for Jesus. I don’t care what anyone says, Jesus was a strong masculine man. I would have loved to have been there and toughed it out with him. I think about how spending time battling the elements with his team helped build an incredible bond between these men.

Jesus Was Not a Safe Man

Third, Jesus was not a safe man that stayed between society’s acceptable lines. He made people nervous and, at times, put people on edge. Those closest to him thought Jesus was pushing the limits just a little too much. They wanted him to tone it down, yet he was bold and got up in the face of some influential people. He confronted leaders that were misleading and abusing people with their power. He stood toe to toe with the most powerful men of his day. He told them they were wrong in what they were doing and how they were misleading the people. He did it in front of others and in ways that offended them. But Jesus didn’t back down or back off. He pushed on and did not pull punches. I love his boldness. He was the man who took a stand when others took a back seat. I admire that in a man.

Jesus Was Comfortable Around Those That Were Rough Around the Edges

Fourth, Jesus was a man of the people, a protector, and a provider to those less fortunate and in need. He was born and raised in humble circumstances and remained in touch with people from all walks of life. While the leaders of his day avoided the outcasts of society and made it clear that they thought he should avoid them also, Jesus ate and drank with them. They were comfortable with him, and they came to him. They did not feel out of place around Jesus. There was something about him that made him approachable. Jesus knew that hanging out with the “tax collectors” and “sinners” would offend and cause issues with the leaders, but he did it anyway. He did it in plain sight of them. Jesus did not mind stirring things up that needed to be stirred up. It was important to him that those that were a little rough around the edges understood that he had time for them. He wanted the “outsiders,” those a little “rough around the edges” to know that in Jesus, there was a way to God.

Jesus was a Fearless Man

Fifth, Jesus was a fearless man. He was bold about going and doing the mission God the Father gave him to do. While his inner circle of men (disciples) wanted him to stay away from places where people threatened to kill him, Jesus said that’s precisely where we are going to go. He did not back down. He did not shut up. He kept pushing and driving his message. Even if Jesus was standing alone in the temple, flipping tables and driving money changers out with a whip, he stayed the course. Jesus was not a wimp. He challenged other men. Jesus called people out and confronted those that misled others. He was a protector and provider. Jesus was a sheepdog that fought the wolves. He was bold, fearless, and aggressive. Again, I admire these things about Jesus. As most men recognize, there are times in life when men need to stand up and state the truth no matter what the consequences. Jesus did this often. In fact, he kept doing it until finally, the leaders devised a plan and put him to death.

Jesus was a Courageous Man

Finally, Jesus was a courageous man. In his final days, while alone praying, Jesus saw the path ahead. He was to go to the cross and die the most painful and horrible death a man could die in those days. At the same time, Jesus was going to be separated and rejected by His Father to save many. The horror and pain he saw at that moment were so tremendous he was stressed to the point of pushing sweat like blood out of his forehead. He would take on the horror of the worst that sin could produce. I do not fully understand all that Jesus took on in his time on the cross. But he understood it completely. He even asked God the Father if there was another way to complete the task ahead. There was no other way. And so, in the face of it all, Jesus submitted. In great courage, he moved forward as men do when faced with unavoidable horrible situations. Men make the sacrifices needed for the safety and benefit of others. Sacrifice is what the rugged man’s man does. Sacrifice is what Jesus did. He provided so that men like us that are a little rough around the edges might have a way to find God and know His salvation. Jesus was a courageous man. In his words, “Greater love has no man than this, to lay down his life for his friends.” Jesus considers rugged men part of his group of friends. You are part of that group.

Jesus: a Rugged Man’s Man

In summary, Jesus was not a wimp. Wimps and passive men do not start revolutions, and they do not get murdered for their beliefs. Jesus was a rugged man’s man. Hopefully, these few examples are enough for you to reconsider the man Jesus and his claims and promises. I can tell you I have followed him for many years and never regretted a single day. He has given me strength for today and hope for eternity. I never have to be concerned about my future because it is in his hands. Jesus has secured my place by his finished work and proved his power over sin by his resurrection. He has given and continues to provide far more than I will ever deserve.

I know where my strength comes from.

If you have comments, questions or feedback put them in the comments section below or send me an email. I am always interested in hearing from you.

In your corner,

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

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Love Football? Learn lessons from the past to win today. Read “Driven to Be the Best: The Fierce Leader of the Men of Steel.

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Visit Book Recommendations for books that have impacted my life. I will continue to add more.

The Making of a Steeler Fan

I grew up in the ’70s and ’80s in Pennsylvania. During that time, the Pittsburgh Steelers had grown from perennial losers to the dynasty of the ’70s. They were a dominant force in the NFL from 1975 through 1979, winning four super bowls in six years. It was an incredible time to be a young football fan growing up in Pennsylvania.

Growing up in Pennsylvania during this time, you saw examples of grit around you regularly. The dominant industries were steel, coal, and railroad. They were tough industries full of tough men. The MO was fighting first, talk later. Drinking beer, hunting deer, and football were staples. The Pittsburgh Steelers fit the culture.

Lore has it that western Pennsylvania doctors stamp the backsides of newborns with the three hypocycloids (the steel symbol on the side of the Pittsburgh helmet). This action permanently imprints you a Pittsburgh Steeler fan for life. I was born in Altoona, Pennsylvania, so this was certainly the case in that region of the state. If you were not a Steeler fan and living on the western side of the state, you had screws loose. As far as we were concerned, there was only one choice for a football team and it was the Pittsburgh Steelers. We heard about another team on the eastern side of the state, but to us, there was only our beloved Steelers.

I can still remember most of the starting lineup, offense, and defense. There were some incredible players on that team, Terry Bradshaw, Franco Harris, Rocky Bleier, Lynn Swan, John Stallworth, Mike Webster, John Kolb, Randy Grossman, Joe Greene, L.C. Greenwood, Ernie Holmes, Dwight White, Jack Ham, Mel Blount, Mike Wagner, Donnie Shell, Andy Russell, …

The Man, The Myth, The Legend

But the player that stood out to me and was my favorite was Jack Lambert. At the time, Jack Lambert was one of the fiercest linebackers playing the game. (see the video links below) In most people’s minds, he was the leader of the Men of Steel. In the words of former Browns coach Sam Rutigliano, “Jack Lambert IS the Pittsburgh Steelers.”

Lambert was a tall, skinny guy weighing in at about 220 lbs. (this was likely generous in that during his rookie season, he weighed a mere 203 lbs.). But the thing that set Jack Lambert apart was his passion, drive, and intensity. No one could match the internal fire that burned in Jack Lambert. His goal was to dominate every game he played. The expectation was to win. The standard was excellence, and Jack Lambert expected this from himself and those around him. Teammates that missed assignments or did not play to the standard would get an earful from Lambert. He was the leader and one of the grittiest and toughest players in the league.

The fans loved Lambert. Pittsburgh always appreciated the tough guys that represented the blue-collar history of their town. Jack Lambert was one of the toughest, and he played the perfect tough guy position, middle linebacker. His approach to the game of football became my approach. In his words, “I believe the game is designed to reward the ones who hit the hardest. If you can’t take it, you shouldn’t play” I wanted to be just like Jack Lambert. Most young defensive football players in Pennsylvania wanted to be like Jack Lambert.

To get a sense of the man and his passion for the game, click on the links below:

Jack Lambert was unquestionably the best of his era. He played 11 years in the NFL. He made the Pro Bowl 9 times. 4 times he was a Super Bowl champion. Three times he held the title of Defensive Player of the Year. And in 1990 he entered into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. He was a winner and the best at what he did. By sheer determination and relentless grit, he rose to the top of his profession when many questioned his ability to play as a linebacker in the NFL.

Learning From the Best

In a lot of ways, Jack Lambert’s mentality in football resonated with me. He demonstrated a grit which led to his success on the football field. A lot of what he did on the field playing football could be brought into life. Success in any endeavor requires that same grit. Though most of us will not play professional football, we are striving to be successful in life. We have ambitions and goals. Some of the same lessons from Lambert’s career can apply to our approach and success in life.

Don’t Listen to the Naysayers!

Many felt Jack Lambert would not make it as a linebacker in the NFL. Art Rooney, the owner of the Pittsburgh Steelers, read an old scouting report on Lambert. The report read, “Intense, great nose for the ball, but needs to add weight…” Lambert stood 6’ 4 ½” and according to the program weighed 220 lbs. Many would say this was generous. Lambert recalled his rookie year in 1974. “They put me on the scale, and when it stopped at 203, they almost died,” 203 is pretty much the bare minimum for a 6-foot-4 1/2-inch frame. Of course, this would be perfect for a volleyball or tennis player but a middle linebacker in the NFL? “I explained to them that I had been running a lot and was in the best shape of my life,” Lambert said. “I also told them to reserve judgment until we put on the pads.”

When the pads were put on, it became evident that he was not going to be stopped. The matter of whether or not he was going to be successful was settled in Jack Lambert’s mind. He knew who he was, and it didn’t matter what others said. Jack Lambert was going to succeed. He worked for this his entire life. He was ready, prepared, and confident.

What is your mindset? Do the naysayers easily sidetrack you? Think about what contributes to your mindset? What are the root causes of the lack of confidence that holds you back? What voices are you listening to? Are they supportive of the direction you need to go to succeed? Do you need to rid your life from some of the voices you listen to? It may be time to replace them with those that help and challenge you. Start making changes to replace the “I can’t” statements in your mind with the “I can” statements. The bottom line, “don’t listen to the naysayers!”

Intensely Focus on the Goal!

Jack Lambert’s lifelong ambition was to play professional football. In his words, he can’t remember having aspired to do anything else. The hall of fame coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers, Chuck Noll said this about Jack Lambert. “When you start talking about attitude and focus, Jack is the epitome. He was the most focused individual I’ve ever had.”

Early in his career, he would routinely visit the Steelers training facility during his off hours to study film. It was not normal for a player to study film like this at the time. Jack Lambert was determined. He was going to master his profession. He studied, trained, and practiced for football. Football was his life. He put off marriage until after his playing days just so he could focus and be the best.

His work and sacrifice paid off. In the words of teammate and Hall of Fame outside linebacker Jack Ham, “[Jack Lambert] was the most complete middle linebacker ever to play.” “Of all the middle linebackers – Ray Nitschke, Willie Lanier, Dick Butkus – what set Jack apart was his ability to play the pass.” Also, another teammate and outside linebacker Andy Russell said, “Lambert may have had the image of a wild man. But he killed you with his precision.” This level of play didn’t just happen. Jack Lambert worked hard to level up his game and improve so he could maximize his performance and results.

Are you focused on your goals? Have you defined what you want to accomplish? Have you built a plan to get there? What work are you doing every day to sharpen your skills to achieve these goals? There is no better time than now to start putting in the extra work needed to excel. It is time to zero in on your goals and make it happen. It is time to get focused!

Bring the Passion!

Jack Lambert was an intense and passionate football player. I attended a football camp in Connecticut when I was about 12 years old. Many professional football players were there. Below is a picture of me to the right of Jack Ham (outside linebacker for the Steelers). Also in the picture is John Capaletti (running back for the Rams). Both were Penn State grads and John was the Heisman trophy winner in 1973.

I wasn’t able to get a picture with Jack Lambert but he was there and made an impression on me. The one thing I remember him saying was this. “If you can’t be passionate about playing football you should not play the game. The game is meant to be played with passion and intensity.”

Jack was passionate about the game. This is obvious if you’ve watched the videos in this post! You can hear his passion in this excerpt from his Hall of Fame speech in 1990. “If I could start my life all over again, I would be a professional football player, and you damn well better believe I would be a Pittsburgh Steeler.” Joe Greene, another Hall of Fame player and teammate said this about Lambert and his passion for the game. “Jack didn’t need to psyche himself to play… He LIVED to play.” Jack Lambert was always ready and excited and brought a level of energy to his profession.

Are you passionate about what you do? If not, do you need to make a change? I believe all men are called to lead. Leadership does not happen without passion. We need to be passionate about the life we are living. If we are not we need to understand the root cause of this lack of passion and address it. It is time to take action. Passionate individuals draw people in and motivate and influence. Passion also fuels grit and makes you keep going when you face obstacles and roadblocks. What are you passionate about? Figure it out and do that thing well. Fuel that fire and be a leader to those around you.

Start Your Journey to be the Best

When I think about the things Jack Lambert did to be the best at his profession I realize that every man has the same opportunity to be the best in his chosen path. Each of us can eliminate the impact of the naysayers in our lives and surround ourselves with a team that will challenge and help us. We can define our goals and get focused on building a routine to sharpen the skills needed to be the best. We can make the changes needed so that we can be passionate about the things we are called to do in life. This passion will fuel the fire inside and drive the grit needed for the daily grind. You have what it takes to be the best. What are you going to do? Why wait? Start your journey to be the best today!

As always, post your feedback, comments, or questions. I welcome them and look forward to hearing from you. Or you can click the email on the main menu.

In your corner,

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

MORE FROM MEN OF GRIT

What is Men of Grit about? Read “About Men of Grit”

A man’s leadership does not end with the workday. Read “Do Hard Things”

Challenge your view of Jesus. Read “The Rugged Man’s Perspective of the Other Side of Jesus”

How to help your son transition from boy to man. Read “The Exciting Challenges of Breaking Into The World Of Manhood”

Visit Book Recommendations for books that have impacted my life. I will continue to add more.