Changing My Direction

How many times have you experienced frustration in making lasting changes in your life?

I have experienced this disappointment. There was a time I was not living up to what I believe it means to be a man. I was off course and drifting into a general attitude of complacency. My life was unraveling. I knew the journey I was on was not going to end well. I needed to make substantial, lasting changes.

Not only did I see I was going in the wrong direction, I knew I had the potential to be much better. I knew that inside was this hard-charging, driven, results-oriented man. But there were critical areas of my life where I had lost the passion.

When you are disappointed in yourself, it can suck the life out of you. That was my situation. I was out of shape, focused only on work, and chasing comfort. Rather than working hard to be the man I wanted to be, I was complacent.

Yet today, I am thriving more than at any other time in my life. I am improving every day physically, mentally, and spiritually. I am determined to be the man I am called to be. I have a vision for my life, and I am making progress toward it every day.

(Read, “A Simple Vision, Focus and Target for Improving Your Life”)

Today I am leading better than ever and increasing my influence at home, work, and beyond. I am moving forward according to who I am and what I am called to do as a man. I have regained my purpose and passion for life. I am living more authentically every day.

What is the #1 reason for this improvement? I am connected to a group of high-value men. These are men that are improving their lives, achieving goals, and becoming stronger. These connections have made a significant difference in my life.

I am convinced that men who make connections with high-value men will see dramatic improvements in their lives also.

I believe every man should have these connections. Men feed off other men. They excel when connected to men of like mind and direction. There are tremendous advantages to being connected to high-value brothers. Here are a few I have experienced.

A Place to Unload

Every time you complain, talk about your losses, share your frustrations, you lose influence, and weaken your position as a leader. Your calling is to bear the load. Others should be able to lean on you. As a high-value man, you should be leading your wife, your children, and your co-workers.

Unloading on these people or unloading in their midst negatively impacts your ability to lead them. When you become unglued with those you are called to lead, it is always damaging.

But, the pressures men face are real. Too many men are succumbing to these pressures. They are destroying their physical and mental health, relationships, careers, etc. Men need to blow off this steam.

I believe the place for this is with other men. Brothers understand the stresses of responsibility and leading. They know the weight you must bear. And brothers help carry the load.

I have found that sometimes all I need is a place to rant and release some emotion. By getting the emotion out, I tend to gain clarity and the ability to focus on solutions. For me, this process helps me get back into the right frame of mind. I come out of this process, ready to re-engage and lead.

Challenging and Feedback

At some time or another, you will feel like slacking off. If you are not careful, this slacking off can become a habit. In a short time, you will find yourself falling back into your old ways. Complacency creeps back into your life.

But if you are a part of a brotherhood of high-value men, you will be challenged. High-value men are always pushing to get better. They challenge themselves, and they also challenge those around them.
These men will ask you questions that make you face your reality. They will live what you should be living. Their example becomes contagious. Just by being associated with them, you will feel the push and realize, “I need to step up my game!”

At other times, in your journey, you will run up against barriers. You want to keep improving, but you just cannot figure out how to breakthrough. High-value brothers will help you talk through these issues. Chances are one or more of them have been where you are. Often these conversations bring clarity to the next step. You see the answer and get back on the path, moving forward.

Accomplishments

When you are a part of a group of high-value men, you have access to countless experiences, skills, and abilities. Being connected to these men opens doors. You can learn from men that made mistakes, worked through them, and learned how to do things well. You will learn life hacks that bring efficiency and effectiveness into your life. You improve your capability as a man.

In the end, you accomplish more and get results quickly. I have experienced this in multiple ways.

One way is in starting this blog. I have connections to men that have been blogging for years. They are established and successful. So when I expressed a desire to influence through writing, they were there to help me get started. Since then, they have taught me more things than I have had the opportunity to apply. It has been incredible. I have covered so much ground, and yet I still feel like I am just getting started. There is no way I would have been able to achieve as much as I have as quickly as I have without these men.

A second way I have experienced this is by dialing in my fitness. I have access to men that know what they are talking about. They live it and have businesses engaged in helping people achieve their fitness goals. Questions I have about diet and exercise are quickly answered with tons of information to read and study. Access to these men has helped me achieve great results. Again, I feel like I am only just beginning.

I could continue with examples in fatherhood, relationships, leadership, etc. I have a long list of opportunities to improve myself as a man. This is directly related to being connected to this group of men.

When you are connected to high-value men, your only hindrance to accomplishing more is you. You must identify the areas you want to improve, communicate this, and take responsibility for taking action and doing the work. If you do these things, you will accomplish far more than you ever thought possible. You will quickly stack up the accomplishments and successes.

Masculinity promotes Masculinity

There is no better place to learn what it means to be a man than amid other high-value men. We live in a day where you must seek this out. High-value masculine men are not what the general society is promoting these days. However, I believe there is a growing undertow of men pushing back against this trend. More men are coming together and building communities that support masculine men. I think this is a critical need in our world. The world always has and always will need strong, masculine men.

Connecting to high-value men puts you in a position to learn strong masculinity. By engaging with these men, you will see how they respond to life. You get first-hand insight into how other men think and approach their day to day roles and responsibilities. You will build and refine your personal approach with the examples and ideas you gather.

This has helped me refine my vision, focus, and target in life. (“A Simple Vision, Focus and Target for Improving Your Life”) This has helped me clarify who I am, what I want to do, and the impact I want to have in this world. Engaging with high-value men brings out a desire to pursue excellence. Being around good men is infectious. You can’t help but become a better man.

Now What?

So what about you? Are you connected to high-value men? Maybe you know some high-value men in your circles. Make the move. Reach out and start meeting as a group. Or do a little research. There are several quality men’s groups on the internet. One of the best I found is The Fraternity of Excellence. I am a member of FoE, and also have a link on the sidebar of my blog. I highly recommend this group if you are serious about improving as a man. Check it out here.

Whether it is through FoE or another group, join forces with other men. Work together to become the man you always wanted to be. The world needs strong masculine men that influence and positively impact the world around them! This is your calling. It is time to engage. Make the connections. Do the work to be a high-value man.

As always I appreciate your visit to Men of Grit!

In your corner,

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

MORE FROM MEN OF GRIT

Visit Book Recommendations for books that have impacted my life. I will continue to add more.

Seeing the Creator in Creation. “A Vision of the Creator in the Wild and the Wild in the Creator”

Ready to improve the trajectory of your life? “A Simple Vision, Focus and Target for Improving Your Life”

Inspired thoughts from backpacking in the Rocky Mts. “The Irresistible Call of the Wild”

Why should you focus on fitness? “The Fuel Behind a Passionate Fire for Fitness”

Help your son transition into manhood. “The Exciting Challenges of Breaking Into The World Of Manhood”

Putting your faith on the line and experience God. “The Man that “Puts It On The Line” Experiences God”

Challenge your view of Jesus. “The Rugged Man’s Perspective of the Other Side of Jesus”

Love Football? Learn from a past winner. “Driven to Be the Best: The Fierce Leader of the Men of Steel.

A man’s leadership does not end with the workday. “Do Hard Things”

What I have discovered is that often the most significant challenge we have in improving our lives is the challenge we see in the mirror. Many of the problems we experience as men are influenced by or originate with us. Too often, our complaints about the behaviors of wives, children, coworkers, and employees are a direct reflection of how we are living our lives. Many times we are blinded to the tremendous impact we have on these relationships. As a result, the finger continues to be pointed “out there.” We say, “The reason my life is not as good as it should be is because of … this person, that situation, my circumstances, etc.”

As a man living the life he is called to live, you and I have significant influence over the world around us. Often this influence is far more significant than we realize. Our actions produce ripples that impact lives. Like the rock thrown into the pool, the people closest to us are those that will experience the highest wave of our influence. As husbands, fathers, and leaders in the workplace, we have tremendous power that can make a difference in other people’s lives. Whether we acknowledge it or not, we are influencing lives. The question is, how well are we influencing those lives?

When we realize this, we also recognize that any effort to improve our situation in life has to start with improving us. Is it possible that our influence could be a significant contributor to many of the problems we battle in our lives? When we become better men with a strong vision, building a strong foundation, and being purposeful in our impact on those around us, we will be amazed at how our lives change for the better. I have experienced this, and I have observed the same in the lives of other men.

So when we look in the mirror, do we see the type of man that inspires others to go in the right direction? When we evaluate our actions, decisions, and accomplishments, are we on a path worth following? What kind of legacy are we producing? If these questions reveal opportunities in our lives, then it is time to close the gaps and level up as a man. It is time to get on the right path and improve. It is time to start moving in a different direction.

How do we get started improving ourselves, so we are influencing others in the right direction? I have found that rather than create a bunch of rules to follow, it is more effective to establish some guidelines for the life you want to live and the influence you want to have. The rest of this article will lay out an example from my own experience of a simple framework I have used to ensure I am continuously moving in the direction I want to go and, in turn, the direction I want to influence those around me.

This framework consists of three elements that I will call a Guiding Vision, a Foundational Focus, and a Targeted Impact. The Guiding Vision is the big picture, the Foundational Focus is the routine that supports the big picture, and the Targeted Impact is the relationships I want to be purposeful about influencing. Let’s take a closer look at each of these.

Guiding Vision

Think about your goals as a man. What are you striving for in life? For me, I want to honor God, be true to the man in the mirror, and be a rock to those around me. This vision gives me purpose and direction in life. It is the compass that keeps me on track. I continually have this short sentence in my mind. It drives me. It also helps me to course-correct at times.

As I am working through the day, I have the following questions rolling around in my head. Is this honoring God and what I know He reveals in His Word, the Bible? Am I faithful to who I am, or am I being influenced to be someone I am not? Am I providing strong leadership and being a stabilizing force for those around me?

This vision directs me. To me, this is far greater than a set of rules to follow. I have a clear picture of what I am striving to accomplish. It gives me purpose and guides me to live according to my convictions. It keeps me on the path.

What is your purpose in life? How do you want to live? What does this look like? Can you simplify this idea into a few easy to remember phrases that you carry in your mind every day? Having this established in your life keeps you on a path and heading in a direction. It becomes your compass that leads to a specific destination rather than just wondering aimlessly through life being pushed around by the storms of life. Too many men are just living the grind with no sense of purpose. Don’t be one of those men.

Think about your vision. Write it down and refine it. Then, start living it!

Foundational Focus

So when I think about fulfilling the vision of honoring God, being true to the man in the mirror, and being a rock for those around me, I realize that to do this well, I need to be a strong man. I cannot work toward that vision if I am not striving to be stronger every day. In my mind, if I want to move forward in this vision, then I need to develop ways to improve in three main areas. I must be strong physically, mentally, and spiritually. I need to optimize myself in these three areas so I can perform at my highest level and continue on the path to my vision.

Because of this, I have built a routine to grow in these areas. Every day I take steps to improve and get stronger than I was the day before. Physically I maintain a good diet, get routine exercise, and get good sleep. Spiritually, I pray, read, and study the Bible and learn how to relate to God in a way that honors him. Mentally, I listen to podcasts, read articles and books, and engage with other men to learn in areas that will help me in carrying out my vision. I live a life of continuous learning.

Daily I am strengthening my body, mind, and soul. As I do, it provides me a solid foundation to successfully carry out my vision. For example, I need to be dialed in physically to have the energy to be on my game at work and home. I need to be dialed in mentally to make the right decisions, give good direction, and to lead well to those dependent upon my leadership. I need to be in tune with God’s desires and understand his ways if I am going to act in ways that honor him.

These things will not happen if I do not build a routine to keep improving in these three areas. And so for me, I have approached building this foundation this way. I looked at my schedule and determined a time when I can get certain routine activities completed consistently and without disruption.

My routine starts at 4:30 am every day. Every morning I wake up, listen to bible reading (Bible in a year), workout (I do a HIIT type workout every morning), pray, write for my blog, and then I listen to a book or podcast on my drive to and from work. In addition to this, I lift weights four times a week in the evenings with my son. I also adhere to a strict diet, counting calories and macros for six days a week, and on one day, I will step outside the diet to indulge in a treat or two.

This is my routine, and it ensures I am growing physically, mentally, and spiritually every day. I do other things in these areas throughout the week, but this is my foundational routine. This is the non-negotiable part of my routine, and I do it at a time when the likelihood of being disrupted is very low. It works for me and has for quite some time now.

The challenge for you is to build a routine that works for you. Build a routine that supports your vision. Build a routine that has a schedule with a high probability of success. Also, know that it will likely require some sacrifice on your part. You will probably have to give up something to build an effective routine. I started getting up at 4:30 am, and for a couple of weeks, felt like a zombie. But after establishing this routine and figuring out my sleeping schedule, I now am in the best physical condition I have ever been, and I feel better than I have for a long time. I love my morning routine and work hard to maintain it. I have come to realize that without this routine, I will not be strong enough to follow my vision with any real success. Build yours and start getting results.

Want some good insight into how fitness ties into so many other areas of life?

Read “The Fuel Behind a Passionate Fire For Fitness.”

Targeted Impact

Three Main Roles

As men, we are called to be leaders. Building a Guiding Vision and establishing a strong Foundation makes us high-value men and leaders worth following. But who do you want to influence the most? What lives are most important to you as you zero in your influence? This is what I mean by “Targeted Impact.” It is about being purposeful in the roles and relationships that mean the most to you.

For me, I have three roles as a man that I want to optimize and target: my role as a husband, a father, and as a leader of men. As I live, I am continually challenging myself to maintain these three as the focus of my life. It does not mean I don’t value relationships outside these, but just that I want to keep these roles as my top priority. I will fight to ensure the craziness of the world does not squeeze them out. These three roles are where I want to focus my time learning, growing, and improving through action.

Impact as a Husband

I desire to be a rock to those around me. That is first and foremost as a husband. I need to continually learn and dial in my role as a husband to be the strongest leader I can be. I am the one to uphold the standard in my home, set the direction, and lead from the front. I set the tone through my attitude, my approach to life, and my example.

The resource that has had the greatest impact on my life in growing as a husband has been the men I associate with through the Fraternity of Excellence. This group has helped me grow as a husband more than any other resource in my life. They are a group of brothers that hold me accountable for doing the things that will enable me to grow and be a stronger leader in my home. I am grateful for them. They are great resources and have helped me tremendously. For your benefit, I have included several blogs from these men at the bottom of this article. You will notice that many of them offer additional resources that you can take advantage of to grow even more and increase your impact and strengthen your relationship with your wife or LTR.

Impact as a Father

The second area and role I target to strengthen and grow is my role as a father. I think a lot about the legacy I am building for my son. It is important to me to build this relationship and prepare him to enter manhood so he can positively impact this world. I am learning key principles about engaging with him and being present in his life. I am continually pushing myself to improve in this role and develop this relationship in the few years I have with him.

Again, having a tribe of brothers that are also fathers and working to become better fathers has been a tremendous benefit. Many of the blogs below have articles and resources related to improving and becoming a better father. I want to draw attention to a brother of mine that has been especially helpful to me on a personal level. His blog is called Peaceful Fathers. You will find great articles full of ideas on how to sharpen your skills as a father and build a relationship that influences your children. Build that legacy!

Impact as a Leader of Men

Lastly, I target my influence outside my home and specifically in leading and influencing men. This includes my friendships, work relationships, church relationships, and community relationships. Wherever I can have influence and lead other men to improve their lives, that’s where I want to place my emphasis. Men of Grit has been developed for this reason. It is intended to influence and positively impact the lives of men. I have included a few resources below that have helped me in this area also. I have also included a number of books in audiobook and hardcover on my Book Recommendations page. Click Here to view.

Build Your Own Vision, Foundational Focus and Targeted Impact

What about your vision, foundational focus, and targeted impact? Though it would be fine to follow the path I am on, I think each man needs to figure out his own path. You need to design a path that works for you. For me, I continue to learn and tweak my path as I go. As part of my vision, focus, and the impact I listen and learn from other men. I don’t know that I fully embrace everything a single man shares, but I learn something from everyone. I continually find nuggets that help me. Sometimes, aspects of what works for me will not work for someone else. Some of the men I listen to and learn from are highly successful in life and doing exceptionally well. But following their path precisely in my life just would not work.

But I often apply aspects of what they are doing and just modify it to what I know will work for me. My norm is to just do it and then adjust and modify to make it work in my life. My advice would be, do not think about it too long. Just get started building your vision, foundation, target and start moving forward! The key is to keep trying things that align with your vision and foundational focus and targeted impact until you find the right combination that starts delivering the results you desire. Keep moving, keep improving, and watch your influence and impact grow!

Resources to Support Your Improvement as a Man

Masculine by Design

The Family Alpha

The Strong Male

Texas Dom

The Barbarian Rhetoric

Peaceful Fathers

Jocko Podcast – Leadership and Discipline

Deep Leadership – Jon S Rennie

If you’ve enjoyed this content click LIKE or leave a comment below!

As always I appreciate your visit to Men of Grit!

In your corner,

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

MORE FROM MEN OF GRIT

Inspired thoughts from backpacking in the Rocky Mts. Read, “The Irresistible Call of the Wild”

A different perspective on why you should focus on fitness. Read, “The Fuel Behind a Passionate Fire for Fitness”

How to help your son transition from boy to man. Read “The Exciting Challenges of Breaking Into The World Of Manhood”

Putting your faith on the line opens the opportunity to experience God. Read “The Man that “Puts It On The Line” Experiences God”

Challenge your view of Jesus. Read “The Rugged Man’s Perspective of the Other Side of Jesus”

Love Football? Learn lessons from the past to win today. Read “Driven to Be the Best: The Fierce Leader of the Men of Steel.

A man’s leadership does not end with the workday. Read “Do Hard Things”

Visit Book Recommendations for books that have impacted my life. I will continue to add more.

The challenge comes in every boy’s life to break into the world of manhood. Many times, this happens through traditions that are deeply ingrained in his culture. Today I write about my story and one of those traditions that led me into the world of men. Looking back, I now see it as a key moment and the start of my journey into the world of manhood. It also brings to light the importance of building these experiences into the lives of our sons.

Anticipating the Exciting Challenge Ahead

The first Monday after Thanksgiving probably did not have significant meaning to the rest of the country. But if you lived in Pennsylvania, this was a state holiday. You see, this was the opening day of buck season. Workplaces and schools were closed, unions worked it into their contracts to have this day off, and almost the entire state shut down to allow people to go deer hunting. To those from other states, this is surprising, but to those of us from Pennsylvania, this was normal. This is the way it was. Deer hunting in Pennsylvania had been a significant part of the culture for generations. Most people I knew hunted, and most people hunted deer on this day.

Growing up, I could not wait to go to hunting camp with my dad. To be a part of this long-standing tradition was a dream of mine. I heard all the stories of tracking down bucks and the hard work of dragging them through the Appalachian mountains. (we were not allowed to use four-wheelers or drive vehicles on state-owned land to retrieve deer) I read every copy of Pennsylvania Game News. I hung on every word and studied all the details of every story and article. I listened to the stories my dad told me, asking questions and learning everything I could learn about pursuing the legendary whitetail deer. To me, going deer hunting was a rite of passage for a young man. Getting a buck was a trophy that meant more to me than all the trophies I earned by playing sports.

Those first few years of going to camp were my time to prove myself as a hunter and as a man. I was the first of the sons to go to camp, the oldest of the group. I was the only youngster among a group of 10-12 men. At 12 years old, I was wide-eyed and full of excitement. This was my first time entering into the “world of men,” and I was ready.

The first step of entering into this new world was to learn the behavior and fun men have together. It was good to see men busting on each other and getting a little crazy. I was amazed at how bodily noises occurred as if they were a planned part of the conversation. I sat in the corner laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. It was fun to sit and watch and listen. I heard the stories of hunts from years past and conversations and the banter that goes on between men. I learned of the names of different hunting areas like “the Gifford Road,” “the tar paper shanty,” etc. The stories grew in their color and became more grandiose the later in the night, and the more beer that was consumed. I just tried to stay out of the limelight, help with the menial tasks of camp life like washing dishes after meals, setting the table, and just “paying my dues.” I was there to earn respect, and my dad prepared me well to just help out, watch, and learn.

After a couple of days, it was Sunday night, and things started to take on a more serious tone. The grit and drive of men started to show as they prepared for the day ahead. I could see it was a big deal to these guys. They were deer hunters and for the first time, I was one of them. But in my mind, I knew I still needed to prove myself and show I belonged.

That night men were packing lunches, laying out equipment, talking through safety, and of course, ribbing the new kid. I was asked if I had my hose. Not knowing what they meant, they went on to tell me that with all the layers of clothes I would have on, if I didn’t want to urinate on my hunting clothes, I should carry a small hose to use as an “extension.” I was also taught how to wrap toilet paper in case of an emergency in the woods. I was asked if I know my leaves. If there is no toilet paper available and you go to plan B, make sure you do not use poison ivy or poison oak. So needless to say, we pretty much covered all the essentials!

The Time to Prove You are Up to the Challenge

The next morning came early. The alarm clock went off at about 3:30 am. I did not sleep much. Partly because I was excited and partly because of the snoring. Never in my life had I heard snoring like I heard that night! Since then, earplugs have been an essential item when going to camp.

Men started rolling out and getting dressed while a few made eggs, bacon, and toast for the camp. We ate, got dressed, and everyone wished “good lucks” and “shoot straights” and off we went to our separate hunting spots deep in the mountains. We were usually deep in the woods before daylight. Walking in the mountains at night is an experience in itself for a young man. In this culture, it is all part of the challenge of breaking into the world of becoming a man.

The Challenge from the Wild Side of the Wilderness

That first year of hunting was unusually cold and presented an even greater challenge to the normal deer hunting in Pennsylvania. There was snow on the ground, and we were going to the “big mountain.” We would be hunting further back in the mountains than anyone else in our camp. We drove deep into the mountains on dirt roads. We parked and started hiking back into the woods to the area we had scouted out.

The Challenge of the Equipment of the Day

I had a full snowsuit on that was fluorescent orange. I carried a small single-shot 30-30 rifle. At that time, we did not have scopes on our guns. We both shot open iron sights. Because we did not have a lot of money in those days, my dad hunted in blue jeans and carried a lever-action Winchester 32 Special Model 94 like the ones you would see in a western movie. We did not have hot seats; instead, we took plastic bags to sit on, so we didn’t get wet. We also did not have synthetic materials for warmth. We wore cotton long-underwear and cotton socks and boots with felt liners in them. When dad and I sat down at the base of a tree, we had a system. He would sit facing one way, and I would sit facing the other way so we could cover more area. We had a short piece of rope that each of us would hold onto. If we saw deer, we would tug the rope, so the other guy knew to keep still. We saw lots of deer in those days. In the first couple of days, we saw well over one hundred and twenty deer.

The Challenge of Motivation and Grit

Because it was so cold, we did a lot of walking to keep warm. We climbed several mountains on those two days of hunting. It was so cold at one point we talked about returning to camp to warm up. This was a difficult decision for me. It felt like I was wimping out, and I did not like it, but I was colder than I had ever been in my life. We started to make our way back, and we ran into another hunter along a small mountain stream dragging a buck he had just shot. Seeing that buck changed everything for me. It was the motivation I needed to push through the challenge of the cold. Deep inside I found the grit to overcome. So we pushed on and roughed it out.

The Challenge of Missed Opportunity

Later that day, while sitting on a flat bench on the side of the mountain, we saw a group of deer over the edge. Dad snuck up to the edge and looked over and saw a spike buck with a few does. He stepped back and asked me if I wanted to take the shot. I tried to pull the hammer back on my single shot rifle but it had frozen and I could not get it to move. Dad pounded on it to try to get it to break free and then he pounded on his. I told him to go ahead and take the shot if he could get the hammer to break free. Finally, it did break free and he stepped up to the edge. Unfortunately, the buck was now in the midst of the does and the shot was a challenge. He had to try to take a shot at the neck with open sights at 75 yards in the woods. He took the shot and missed it. The deer broke down the bottom of the mountain and up the other side and stood there looking at us. At the distance, we could not see which deer were the does and which was the buck. If only we had a scope! That was our only opportunity that year. But all was not a loss.

Overcoming Challenges Results in Respect

That year I earned some respect in camp. I stayed out in the mountains all day that day and the next day in some bad weather. At the same time, many long time hunters returned to camp because of the cold. We hunted all day both days and covered more ground than probably any other man in camp that year. That experience gave me the opportunity to show grit in the face of some pretty tough conditions. I was starting to feel like I was on my way toward becoming a man.

It was another two years until I got my first buck. It was a small buck with one short antler, barely legal. My dad made a sign that we hung on the back of our jeep that read “Don’t laugh, where’s yours?” We got many honks on the way home and the thumbs up as people passed us on the highway.

Eventually, I became a fairly good deer hunter. I had some long streaks of hunting success year after year. The bucks got bigger and I mastered much of the sport with a rifle and a bow. I now have my own stories of long drags, overcoming obstacles, and battling the elements of the outdoors.

As a younger man, I was driven to prove myself and step up to the challenge of hunting deer in the mountains of Pennsylvania. I often missed the incredible things around me. But later I settled in and really began to enjoy my time in the woods whether successfully bagging a buck or not. I still love hunting success but today I enjoy everything about the hunt, the camaraderie of the men, the challenges the wild presents, and the incredible aspects of God’s creation. My enjoyment is at a much deeper level today.

Creating Challenges for the next Generation of Boys Entering Manhood

I often think about how experiences like hunting and being exposed to hunting camp were instrumental in my transition to manhood. My dad was intentional in making this happen in both my life and my brother’s. I will always be grateful to him for this. These experiences helped mold us, and were used to establish us as strong men with the grit to succeed in life. At the same time, it makes me realize how important it is for me to build adventures and tough experiences into my son’s life.

When my son was old enough, he went to hunting camp. (We now have our own camp) He too washed dishes, did the camp work that had to be done, and “paid his dues.” He experienced men, the banter, the bodily noises, the camaraderie, that comes when men gather together around the challenge of hunting.

But the challenge that has meant the most to him has been hiking. Hiking has been his thing. He loves the mountains and has become an avid outdoorsman. I would match him up against any young man his age. He is tough and has been hiking since he was 5 years old. He has stood on top of mountains as the only young boy among many adults. He has faced the challenges that nature presents and has overcome many. We have sweated together, been through severe storms, and pushed through difficulties that would have caused the average kid to give up. He has found the grit deep within that will serve him well in life. These are the experiences that mold boys into men.

These days, we are working out to get ready for a backpacking trip in the Rocky Mountains. This will be our second trip to the Rockies. The workouts building up to this trip have been great times. They have afforded the opportunity to work hard, talk, be present and stay engaged. The excitement is building as we are anticipating the challenge ahead. We can’t wait to test ourselves against the challenges the mountains bring.

What Challenge Awaits Your Son?

So what are you doing to help your son transition into manhood? What is your son’s rite of passage? How are you putting him in positions to learn manhood from other men? What challenges are you working through with him? How engaged and present are you in his life?

Build the relationship of a lifetime with your son! Pour into that young man. He is our future. He is your legacy. It is never wasted time. It is the best investment you will ever make.

In your corner,

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

If you have comments, questions, or feedback put them in the comments section below or send me an email. I am always interested in hearing from you.

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